David comes to life

So its been about two weeks or so since the last post and what has happened? Well i got a job, i guess thats pretty cool, albeit not the most exciting nor glamorous of employment it pay the billls or at least spending habits. Incase you were wondering i work in a bottle shop in a suburb full of hicks so here is a story/ monologues

Drunk old man: Hey mate whats yer tattoo of?
me: just a tattoo dude
Drunk old man: nah man who is johnny cash?
me: just a tattoo hey
Drunk old man: is it bruce lee
*i’m trying to serve customers and the dude who is working with me looks uneasy with the situation
me: I just got a design done, it’s not of a particular person.
Drunk old man: nah why the fuck would you get a tattoo of someone you dont know, i know all the fucking tattoos i have
*gets aggressive
me: Things you do when you’re young you know?
Drunk old man:How old are you?
Me:20
Drunk old man: Nah you are a fucking adult hey, Is your tattoo even real?
*licks his hand, rubs my arm
me: dude, what are you doing mate?
Drunk old man: nah fuck you, its either johnny cash or bruce lee

Awesome second shift at work i must say, i also have seen a bunch of dudes a used to go to school with and they are still the same. I hated high school it was full of narrow-minded mouthbreathers and i only had a handful of friends which i eventually sold out on all i did during that whole high-school stage was go to local parties and drink, that was the standard weekend, not that there is anything wrong with that but it was total rut which i had to get out of. After 4 years of not being at school and not seeing the dropkicks which studied there it was painful to see those people come to where i work, back in that suburb, back to square one, this one dude i saw him go through a whole cycle of phases hip hop/ pop punk/ tru punx and whatever he is now: stretched ears/ nautical star, Japanese tattoos/ black hair/ baseball cap he looked at me with the most smug of looks i swear i could of ripped out his jugular then and there.

I left the suburb which i grew up in i left for a good two years and never looked back, i left the high school friends, the hangouts, the crappy shopping center everything and i assure you it was for the best. Moving out was amazing i partied, met new people, got a couple of girlfriends and coming to live with the parents was good but man, this suburb is killing me.

Unfinished

I always thought i would find solace in an empty shot glass
But time makes sure that the troubles will pass
We roam the streets at night, that grand feeling of security  in packs lowers our inhibitions
We loudly proclaim our first thoughts, but barely ever listen
In a state of inebriation we expose our true selves
A state of mind we often visit, one we know oh so well
A lack luster version of whom you admire?
Or your apprehensive self in new attire?

Everyday is like sunday

So right now at this very moment i am on the computer, lurking the net and listening to one of the top 10 releases of last year “band of horses-cease to begin”. Its an epic album with one or more songs that will be played at my wedding by a hoarse voice blues singer, with that being said it great start to finish it has a Sunday album kinda feel and you can definitely chill to it no matter what mood you are in.

Lets start with Friday, i woke up late as per usual and got a phone call from a long time friend about what i felt like doing, so we organized to meet at 6 and have dinner and then proceed to rage on too that new friday night hangout and a friends 21st. Plans however were changed and we ended up going to his older brothers place to start drinking and talk about whatever crossed our minds, the tv show “the biggest loser” was on and we talked about various contestants and their degree of annoyance and also why the presenter was plus size. We then drove into town and had dinner in the popular (not of late however) asian/vegetarian restaurant i saw a friend of mine whom of which i sorely miss and we talked about the good old days, which brought the biggest smile on my face.

After we finished dinner we drove to the club and there were a few people we knew there it was a pretty weird vibe and due to the whole crew not being out it was kinda weird, we left the place about two hours after. So we went to the next place and a whole lot of friends were there and a bar tab too, which was great considering i had $12 in my pocket, the friends i came with left an hour or so after they got there and i stuck around and partied with some old friends. Remember the girl i met last week? well turns out she is a giant bag of crazy, anyway she and a friend of mine are now romantically linked well i think so anyway, pretty sure it a case of does she like me/ will he ask me out i hope it turns out for the best.

I ended up taking the train back home and seeing as the train line that i ride is the worst of them all i feared for my life, which was okay cause i was still drunk. So let me paint the scene i am sitting next to some big somoan/new zealand girl listening to hip hop on her i pod there is a couple next to me being all kissing and touching and across the carriage is about 12-15 aboriginals, now i am not racist at all but the were your stereotypical kind all raging from 15-20 years of age. The train stopped at burswood and all the casino beef-head jocks and girls came on, “great” was what i was thinking at the time anyway i had my headphones on and i was listening to feist and these two drunk girls sit either side of me one of them asks “hey bro can u moov ova?” i faintly hear this over my headphones and i say “yeah, no worries” she is fiddling and twitching and she keeps on touching me, it was annoying to say the least.

As saturday came around i decided (due to the lack of funds) that i would chill out with a good friend, a good movie and of course some good reefer (so why do i call it “reefer” and not weed, or pot, or something in that vein, well “reefer” is cool presidents smoke it, doctors recommend it and musicians live by it, only stoners smoke “weed” and i am not a stoner). So we talked a bit watched monsters inc. and finally got down to business i prepared the reefer and mixed it with a small amount of tobacco so it burns evenly and put ice in reefer sutherland “chilly billies” as i like to put it, cold smoke is easier to inhale y the way. So we lit up, got high and watched billy maddison, sure not the most intellectual movie out there and even though i have seen this film over a dozen times i laughed so hard and then we remembered the “old weed” it was a 6 month old stash and i was a bit precautious however i chopped it, we lit it up and it was like a finely aged wine and we smoked it. I took us half an hour to walk up the stairs and i fell up the top one we decided to watch dawn of the dead it was intense man, during the high i felt an aura, a warmth i felt like i was weightless and flying. Awesome

And that was my weekend, i woke up around 11 on sunday got a lift to where my friends band was playing and caught the train home, i had a family bbq, i ate alot, had a nap and went back home. I will try and look for a job this week. Peace.

Party life.

So the crew went out minus a couple of dudes and we raged classic. Met a girl and i told her  am a douche, which is a half truth really. She told me i smile alot, man really? i thought i was this morose, depressing, mopey type character, well i guess the blues from the previous girl i met was over, cool.

I watched waiting that weekend too, great movie and i wonder why i never watched it before. It pretty much sums up the last 3 years of my life with the promiscuity, beer guzzling, chain smoking, restaurant faux-pas and general quips when it comes to growing up. Has some funny lines and an all star comedic cast and will be quick to become one of my favorite films.

All in all a good weekend, i drank alot of beer, smoked alot of reefer(i didn’t once pay for it) met some people and bow-shaked to alot of people too.

Silent places

song rules, dude rules, ruling life,

Happy Valentines baby.

Romance is the merchant of death
love brings hate within every breath
Infatuation rears men blind
a pair of star-cross’d lovers, take their life. (1)

If music be the food of love, play on (2)
muliebral verses from a call girl’s song
the heart is empty, with love it shall be filled
mine forever empty, through woman’s cold will

Romance is a call that we fail to heed
How can love be the cure, when it is the disease?
What men daily do, not knowing what they do (3)
again under the spell from a womans cunning rouse

Alas my heart not empty, temptation, allure
not again i beg, for love again to much to endure
under the spell, again at first sight
women and love a forever haunting vice

Interesting side note:
So last year while working on valentines day at a restaurant with the a good friend i wrote a poem on the work computer, it came out in a receipt form and i put next to where all the orders come up. It contained a whole lot of the word “fuck” in it too, i was kinda angry at the time (for reasons unknown to me) that being said the new girl (Italian, uni student, 18, my height, dark hair, played violin or similar instrument) thought i was some depressed, lonely, crazy (I glad-wrapped my friend’s hands to a knife once when she was there) dude.

Also note: i am not a Crazy, depressed, lonely dude.
I also know that this is a week early, but i have nothing better to do as yesterday i spent with an amazingly cute couple in a bar filled with attractive people after i watched that Kate Hudson film “raising Helen”

nb: 3 quotes from Shakespeare, in relevance to poem.The rest is my insane ramblings.

(1)The phrase was coined in the prologue of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet:
“From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, a pair of star-cross’d lovers, take their life.

(2) Twelfth Night Act 1, scene 1, 1–3

Duke Orsino:
If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.

(3) Much Ado About Nothing (IV, i, 19-21)

Claudio:
“O, what men dare do! What men may do! What men daily
do, not knowing what they do!”

December 2007

Walking home in the morning after a long night out, my headphones are on and i’m staring at my feet as i walk through through the packed supermarket. I take my sunglasses off, the neon lights of the dairy cabinet reminds me of closed signs i passed as i walked to find the taxi to go to the house of the girl i met that night. I grab an orange juice i need to ease my stomach, it feels like its starting to eat itself so i suppose i should get something to eat. I finish the juice but i can still taste stale smoke and a bittersweet aftertaste of whatever i drank last night, the worst thing is i don’t even smoke.

I walk through the food hall its packed with mothers, rambunctious children and fad driven teens each more annoying than the next. I want to sit alone but at every table are more annoying teens playing with ringtones at volume levels that pierce my eardrums, more so than their already annoying high pitched pre-pubescent screaming. I get a coffee i’ve had at least an hours worth of sleep and i struggle to find the energy to walk the rest of the way home. I pass through the parking lot a guy gets out of his gold, lowered, dark window-tinted, mag-rimmed truck he has a singlet and camo pants on, his glasses are on despite the fact the tint on his car could block out light from the sun if he was ten meters away he has tattoos a dragon and a celtic armband, i hate this suburb.

I walk the rest of the way home, mum is at work, dad is riding his motorbike somewhere across town and my brother well he is one of those teens not so annoying however. I walk into my room its littered with empty food packets, empty water bottles, dvd cases, loose cd’s and the clothes i tried .. i went out last night i put on a cd get a towel and go to the bathroom to shower. As i get out my dad gets home he asks “how long you been home?” “about half an hour” i reply “There’s leftovers in the fridge” i reply later with”cool man” and he looks at me weird and goes into the garage to work on his car. I turn on the tv some tele-movie about some teens living in the not so distant future they have colonized the moon, anyway the moon spirit is angry and they all have to leave or feel the wrath of a thousand suns, on the moon. I fall asleep on the leather couch i wake up and my face is stuck on the couch, i feel hot so i walk to the corner store to buy a soft drink and an ice cream. The asian deli owner is watching a movie with steven seagal he asks me if i like it “what movie is it?” i say, it was a bad move he takes about five minutes to tell me its glimmer man “sweet, peace dude” i say this as i’m leaving.

I get home and there is one missed call and one message on my phone “hey man wanna go out tonight?” “fuck” i mutter to myself, i have a problem with saying no and as much as i want to stay home and sleep i end up going out anyway, i shower again, get a lift to the train station and walk to my friends place. I’m there all the time its pretty much my second home, we eat and drink and stubble our way to the bus stop i am an incoherent mess, we talk about the good times we had and we get off at the same stop we always do. We walk from the bus stop to whatever club we frequently visit street drinking along the way, as we walk in i look at the people i’m with, the people i’m meeting and i smile to myself, this is the last thing i will remember.

I wake up i don’t have my shoes on, i look at my phone i have 4 messages “whr r u man??” “dood ygrboms at teh bar” ” nice to meet you see you soon!!” and “yo man we are leaving”. I grab my shoes in side is my wallet with $20 in it about $14 in loose change a show flyer and bar napkins. I sleep until the duds that lives here wakes up, we hang out for a couple of hours and drive into town we end up in another food hall. The food i buy is greasy, cheesy, full and full of fat, mexican is the best hangover food. I am finally on the train back home my headphones are on and i’m falling in and out of sleep its exactly 24 hours since i left to go out.

What is it in life?

What is it in life that drives you to do things out of the ordinary?

We are students, employees, brothers, sisters, aunts, girlfriends, mothers, cousins, husbands, grandsons, nephews, widows and somehow in the vast tapestry of this universe we are all connected. Are we pre-destined to make the choices we do? or is everything that we do in our own free will. We dont always take the easy path, we struggle working those shitty jobs to live in house you can’t afford or you study at school to get a job in a field that you don’t even know if you want. Whilst the normal workdays slowly passes throughout the week we gear ourselves up for relief on the weekend only to tire oneself more. What makes us choose the people we associate with?

Do we choose our friends or did they choose us?, i struggle with the fact that people want to talk to me let alone pursue an ongoing friendships (but thats just me and i prefer to be alone most times). What makes us choose the ones we want to be with? what i mean is what makes us want to be with someone unconditionally, what makes us love the one we do? Is it pre-determined or more in our genes, is there a mechanism in our body which makes us attracted to someone with strong genes just to make genetically better offspring?.

When you wake up in the morning what happens? do you wake up thinking about someone? or do you wake up next to that someone?. Having someone else sleeping with you is an amazing thing it has both ups and down, sure the whole thing in fact is not always sexual and i can assure non-sexual sleeping together is better.

Right so you wake up your next to a person who likes you enough so much that they can trust you whist they are asleep, now just say its your bed you girlfriend or whomever that was has left you residence and you go about your daily duties and its time to fall asleep again you lay in you bed and the pillow next to you smells like her (albeit i am sounding creepy) but that scent reminds you of everything, the first things you said to her, the first time you heard her laugh, the way she smiles when she laughs, the colour of her eyes, Stupid things you said, the first kiss, when she took your hand to dance, when you took her hand to go outside, and that feeling of assurance when you don’t care about what happens next, that feeling that drives us to do the inordinary.

So is that the only thing that drives us to do what we do? do we work to get money to but a car which drives us to a better job which drives us to buy a house which we fill with expensive furniture which is a reflection of your shallow self which you cover with expensive clothes only to find a suitor so you can share this with? So old fashioned movie-style love doesn’t exist, is life just consummation/pro-creation, i’m beginning to think its is.

The more people i meet the more i appreciate life and at the same time i have never felt more alone, not to say at 20 going on 21 i want to meet the person i want to spend the rest of my life with, not to say i will only be happy with that someone special. My social life is slowly diminishing, my love life is driving me insane, the ideals and principals my life is based on seems irrelevant and don’t co-exist with the way my life is running now.

I’m sure there is another person who is going through the same thing or maybe i have lost my grip on sanity but all i want is the last first kiss, the last first dance and the last first impression. Oh and the best/worst first thing i ever said to someone was a quote by a very famous guy i know i believe it went along the lines of “up ur’ hole”.

peace.

Salad days.

So today i morn the death of my computer, i hope that i can bust out the drive there is alot of music and photos on it. Slowly but surely all of my electronic good are going the way of the graveyard so far I’ve lost (in order) my i river, my xbox 360, my cannon slr, my computer and my playstation is always overheating/ shorting out. I’d like to think i’m not a bad user of todays electronics my i river had a good 3 years of play, the 360 was one of the original release ones which always got hot, i dropped my camera on the sidewalk, computer was secondhand, and the playstation was secondhand too.

I watched juno last night, good film but horrible audience it was a combination of single guys, couples, guys on first dates and me and two friends. Anyway the bursts of almost on queue laughter was real of putting one guy had this real nasally laugh it would be a loud “EH HEH HEH HEH HEH HA HA HEH” any time the word vagina was said, dude lost it when juno said ” porksword”. It was well written and the two leads were great Micheal Cera did well as his almost typecast role being the reserved, diffident young male and Ellen Page played the quirky, unconventional teen juno, which i’m sure alot of young teeanage girls can relate to. The problem with the movie i found that it was being marketed as “knocked up for the younger generation” and as much i enjoyed that movie they are leagues apart. Pregnancy is a serious topic and in knocked-up it tackles the issue real light-heartedly with some stoner and flatulence references thrown in with the lead eventually becoming responsible, in Juno it shows the beginning of one becoming “sexually active” and what its like falling in love and being rejected and the overall stress involved with growing up. Soundtrack was great and not to be an uptight-indie aficionado but most of the people in the cinema would of even heard of sonic youth or the melvins or even recognized Jason Bateman’s shirt which Jennifer Garner disliked (The cover of soundgardens superunknown, Jennifer Garner was also wearing an alice in chains shirt during the painting the nursery scene).

All in all the movie made me think about love and i on the train ride home i home i started to think about all of my ex’s. I cant say i ever loved them, sure it hurt when we broke up but you know that feeling you get when you are in the courting process you feel it above your ribcage just under your neck and your heart is beating twice as fact i guess i only felt that during the first kiss and the first time we held hands, after a month the novelty wore off and things got into a routine don’t get me wrong i enjoyed their company but when things got too serious i had to get out of there. I only ever felt the fast heartbeat/ribcage thing twice in my life and the were shortly followed by the sharp stabbing feeling in the same place and every time i took a breath in or out it felt like my chest was caving-in and my soul was escaping. Which brings you to why i’m taking a break from the night life

Anyway here is 10 things i need/want
10. slacks, any colour
9. hoodie/sweater/ cardigan weather
8. new kicks
7. to move out
6. holga/ lomo
5. more vinyl
4.Polaroid film/ film
3. New slr
2. New computer
1. Employment

Hairdresser on fire